Short jokes
Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
Keep calm and curry on!
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
Why tie when you can knot?
When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.
I said that I have been ill.
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
Snort poo poo.
I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
4chan
What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?
They're both Headless.
I have some jokes about popcorn.
Nah, they're too corny.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
Tuxedos suit you.
Walking's a chore, let alone crawling.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.