Short jokes
Your hairline is so hideous that Derrick White's hairline envies yours.
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Am I a guard or a guava?
Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?
Gay dik.
Smol Dik.
Plastik Dik.
Rubeh Dik.
Smooth Dik.
Metahl Dik.
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.
What does lmao mean? Laughing miles.
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
What do you call Joyce when she's running from the Russians?
Winona Hider.
I don't like Twin Tower jokes. They always tend to crash and burn.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Twins.
Twins who?
Twins go boom boom today on 9/11.
True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.
You're more uglier.
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!