Short jokes
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
"A friend with weed is a friend indeed."
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
In life, some people have it harder than others.
That's why Viagra exists.
How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?
About nine months and a day.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
What do you call a blowjob in Africa?
Breakfast.
The term "every 60 seconds" is so stupid.
You know Africans don’t get seconds.
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.