Short jokes
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
Ur hairline is like a Fortnite map at the start of a new season waiting to be identified.
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.
What did the barbwire say to big foot? "My name is Jeff."
I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
What do you call an Indian in a shower?
A cleaner.
What’s the difference between milk and the air?
At least the air will always be there for me.
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
Lions = gay pride.