Short jokes
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.
He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?
A pedophile.
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
What game do emo kids love the most? Hangman.
When dwarfs get high, do they just get medium?
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
What did Hitler say when he was blindfolded?
I can Nazi!
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."
Do you know why God created wars? To teach Americans geography.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.
Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.