Short jokes
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?
He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross-country.
What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
An emo texted a tree, "Wanna hang out?"
The tree ghosted her.
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
9/11 and Jenga are the same.
It's a controlled demolition.
I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight
My arm: "I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT!"
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.
He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.