Short jokes
Did you hear about the bisexual from Alabama? He can't decide whether to fuck his brother or his sister.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross-country.
What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D
Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming
An emo texted a tree, "Wanna hang out?"
The tree ghosted her.
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
9/11 and Jenga are the same.
It's a controlled demolition.
Did you hear about the German girl being raped by 10 men? She shouted, "nein, nein," so one of them left.
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
My arm: "I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT!"
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.