Short jokes
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard.
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross-country.
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?
He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."
What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
An emo texted a tree, "Wanna hang out?"
The tree ghosted her.
Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
My arm: "I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT!"
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.
He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.