Short jokes

Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?

A. Toothpaste.

"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."

Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.

I comforted my friend about his wife's death, until I found out who did it.

Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.

My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.

Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?

Because it flew over their heads.

why don't emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.

After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"

What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.

People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.

Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"

Orphan: -no response-

People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.

What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.

I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.

Hey guys, I’m back, just wondering if anyone is still on this that wants me to make more.

Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.

Your hairline is like the universe, still waiting to be discovered.

This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.

Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?

Because unlike the Twin Towers it can dodge.