Short jokes

My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.

why don't emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.

Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?

Because it flew over their heads.

Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"

Orphan: -no response-

After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"

Why did the emo leave the bar?

Because it was happy hour.

What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.

I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.

What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.

My sister's boyfriend is mad at me because I fucked his girl.

This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.

What's missing in an orphanage computer?

"The motherboard."

Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.

Hey guys, I’m back, just wondering if anyone is still on this that wants me to make more.

People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.

Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.

I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming

Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say "black paint" anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall?"

Glory 🕳 equals 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 bonding.

I tried to get my blood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside.