Short jokes

Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?

A. Toothpaste.

"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."

Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?

Because unlike the Twin Towers it can dodge.

Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.

Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.

I comforted my friend about his wife's death, until I found out who did it.

My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.

Your hairline is like the universe, still waiting to be discovered.

Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?

Because it flew over their heads.

why don't emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.

After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"

What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.

People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.

What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.

Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"

Orphan: -no response-

I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.

What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.

Hey guys, I’m back, just wondering if anyone is still on this that wants me to make more.

My sister's boyfriend is mad at me because I fucked his girl.

People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.