Short jokes
Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
Midget
My Wi-Fi must be Kobe, because it crashed hard.
Everyone, if I am not online, that is because I am on a vacation, so yeah.
What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂
Doom is eternal.
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
What instrument do orphans play?
The sax alone.
I still remember my grandpa's last words.
"Stop shaking the damn ladder!"
What do you call an entitled woman? A Karen.
I hate people that hate life.
Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.
*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe