Short jokes
I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
Cereal.
Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up literally everything.
We have some leak in the fridge. I'm surprised nobody has called a plumber.
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
Mary Rose sat on a pin. Mary Rose!
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”