Short jokes
Why can't Columbus be offered a professional football team?
Because then Cincinnati would want one too.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
This website sucks, it never cites the correct information.
I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.
Mary Rose sat on a pin. Mary Rose!
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.