What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
Short Jokes
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Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
What goes in dry and comes out wet?
A dick.
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
I have a vest. If I cut off my arms, it's a jacket!
I hate these double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.
Hey, you down to fuck?
No, I’m just down.
What does it take to paint a wall red?
Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...
