Short jokes
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
What comes after 69?
Mouthwash.
"Like if u cry everytime."
Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.
What do you call an emo with curly hair?
Sam Reid.
Sorry but, no one asked.
789.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
Some people put zodiacs on everything.
They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
I scaled your forehead, and all I saw was 1000.
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!
Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
NASA stands for "Nobody Already Seen Astronauts."