Short jokes

This humor is so dark, it's darker than the Black population.

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!

What did one God say to the other?

"I will die to be a man."

What did the police say on the TV during 9/11?

"Call 911!"

If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?

Why did Michael Jackson become white? He wanted to be like a ghost, and I have any feeheet.

Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?

Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.

Huggy Wuggy big big Huggy Wuggy big big big big Huggy Wuggy laugh laugh smooch smooch Huggy Wuggy *insert clapping noise*

Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.

Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.

What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?

I don't eat burritos.

The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!

I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.

Jesus, that's sick.

God = what I hope to be.

Devil = what I can't accept.

I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.

I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.

I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.

You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.