Short jokes
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
What is Instagram called in USA?
Instaounce.
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
My brother when he sees a girl.
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
I want your cock in my rock bottom.
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
What do you call a crippled man? Alex keating hahahahahahahahahahahh!
Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.