Short jokes
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
Don't commit suicide, that would make DJUNGELSKOG sad!
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
Random couple after their first night:
Husband: It was very tasty. 🥵
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?
Wife: ☠️