Short jokes
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
What do you call a cat that walks slowly?
CATerpillar
Killua is hot, why?
He's gay.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Lalicks your balls.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.
Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
Your mom is so fat she was the reason why the Titanic crashed.
Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.
Someone stole my balls :(
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.