Short jokes

Short jokes

Rest

If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?

Mom

What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.

Kid

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

Viagra

Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.

Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?

Suicide

Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?

Number

Why shouldn’t you call people in China?

Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.

Direction

My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.

Relationship

Why do some couples go to the gym together?

Because they want their relationship to work out.

Crab

What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?

They shellabrated their mommy.