Short jokes
Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Kobe got irl canceled.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Lalicks your balls.
Your forehead is like a line, it just keeps going.
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in ethnic cleansing.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are...
Stephen Hawking: one hp (Fortnite)
Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
Joe mama's so hairy when she went to the movie theater, the people thought she was Chewbacca!
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
The Statue of Liberty is French; she ain't even American. Deport that bitch!
What do you call a male robot who wants to be a girl?
A trans-former.