Short jokes
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Dad!
Dad who?
*Silence*
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
I like unicorns.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
What did the bus say to the other bus?
"Beep!"
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.