Short jokes

Donald Trump didn't build a wall because he likes going to islands to touch little girls.

Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.

What did Trump say to Ukraine when Putin bombed them?

"It was Antifa!!!! And China!!!!"

Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.

Friend: I don't know.

Me: A black market.

Omnom.

"Hee hee touch my pp."

As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.

What does Nemo have in common with my dad?

They both can't be found.

Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅

What did the cow say at night? Look at the moooon.

A single sentence walks into a bar.

A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"

And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"

Josh: Tell me something funny.

Mark: My life.

What pants do you wear to church? Hole-y ones.

How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?

TEN-TICKLES

You want to hear a joke about pizza?

Sorry! Can't tell ya, it's too cheesy!

What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?

"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"

We don't got sluts in the South, we got NATS: Nasty Ass Traveling Sluts.

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.

I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.