Short jokes
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.
Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!
What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?
I don't know. I forgot.
What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
What goes pop pop sizzle sizzle?
Two dead babies in an acid bath.
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
What is a suicidal horny person's job?
A butcher.
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
How is everyone? I just started school. Sixth grade, yeah!
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?
My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.