Short jokes
Me at the Anti-Orphan Jokes convention. 💣🗡🔪🧨🔫
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
An orphan walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Buddy, you have to go home." The orphan replies, "Where is home?"
What is a cannibal's favorite drink?
Coffee.
What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."
What do you call someone who is extra virgin?
Mrs. Frame.
Where do ducks poop out of?
From their buttquack.
I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...
After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"
When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."
Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Orphan: What's a mama?
Random kid: *shook*
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
Why are they called s’mores?
Because you always want another one!
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
What was Beethoven's favorite insect?
The bee! :0
What hangs low?
Balls.
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.