Short jokes
I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It's a complex complex complex.
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Why did Sally fail her final exam?
Because she had nothing written down.
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
That camping trip was in-tents.
Knock knock.
"Cow goes."
No, silly, cows go moo!
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
Why were the cherries 🍒 crying?
Because their parents were in a jam.
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
Why are they called s’mores?
Because you always want another one!
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.