Short jokes
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?
You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
What do you call Miles Morales Spider-Man from Europe?
Kilometers Morales.
I would roast you, but I'm not supposed to burn trash.
How do two emo kids greet each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.
Roses are red, I sniff marijuana, I have five fingers, The middle one is for your vagina.
Your forehead is so big you could have put an H for Kobe to land on.
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.