Short jokes

Short jokes

Infant

My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.

Museum

If museums are full of dead things...

Then why aren't there any memes inside them?

Blonde

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?

I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.

Cake

Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”

Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”

Baby

What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?

Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.

  • 1
  • Heaven

    I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.

  • 0
  • Anorexia

    I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.

  • 0
  • Baby

    What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?

    One baby stapled to five trees.

  • 0
  • Girlfriend

    My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.

    I'm feeling cannelloni right now.

  • 0
  • Baby

    Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?

    So you can see the look on its face as you climax.

  • 3