Short jokes
What is a Russian joke?
Something that will be funny for Russian people.
Why do orphans always get picked on?
They can't run and tell their parents.
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What did the plug hole say to the plug? "We are so in sync."
What pants do you wear to church? Hole-y ones.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
One day my girlfriend and I were just hanging out and she needed to tell our dad that we were going out.
What did the dentist say to the butt?
"That's the largest cavity I've ever seen!"
What knight is never wrong?
Sir Tain.
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
My brother can't wait for spring... he wet his plants!
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"
A single sentence walks into a bar.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8.
Why are colds such bad robbers?
Because they're so easy to catch.
During WWI and WWII, the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches. I bet they really dig that weapon!
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
A man says, "I'm flying!" He realizes he was pushed out of a plane.