Short jokes
Beneath this monumental stone Lise, 80 pounds of skin and bone.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
Tic-tac-toe.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.
Scan my wrist for 75% off!
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?
Nothing. They are both just memories.
What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?
Yung Flung Dung.
Why would Tommy kill Philza's wife just to make Phil believe she didn't exist?
LIKE AND SUB IF YOU LI/j
Bro, yo goofy ahh hairline lookin' like a rhombicosidodecahedron.
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
When they said Titanic was "unsinkable," then they said, "The World Trade Centers was uncollapsible."
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
You would think catholic churches would be in favor of condoms: less DNA evidence.