Short jokes
Why does Technoblade love orphans?
'Cause he can relate to their parents!
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
Why did Michael Jackson go to the movies? He saw there was minor nudity.
What sort of movies do cows like to watch?
Moosicals!
My mum told me to take out the trash, but I couldn’t find you.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
Why do orphans like emos?
Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.
My uncle was a priest.
He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.
"Just killed a woman, feeling good."
- Tommyinnit
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.
What's yellow and can’t swim?
Your dead fish.
What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?
"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my sister?
There is no difference.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.
My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.
Teacher: What does a chicken give you?
Student: An egg!
Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂