Short jokes

Short jokes

War

America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.

Orphan

Why do orphans play GTA?

To be wanted.

Why do orphanages give out free phones?

So you can press the home button.

Heaven

When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.

Gwen

Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.

Kid

What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have a touchy feeling for kids.

Priest

What's the difference between a drill and a priest?

Nothing, they both like screwing stuff!

Accident

Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.

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  • Tool

    Some dude called me a tool.

    So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.

    Guess he was right :/

    Field

    What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?

    A jammy cunt.

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  • Yeast infection

    What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

    A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.