Short jokes
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"
Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"
What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!
What did Sally get for Easter?..
Nail polish.
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time.
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
ENTER PASSWORD.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
RESET PASSWORD.
NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.
Sets fire to computer.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.