Short jokes

Short jokes

Planet

Which planet would I consider dating?

I don’t know, but not Saturn because she’s already got a ring on her.

Poster

I’d like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)

Gun

My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!

Grandpa

My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.

Food

I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.

Fan

How do you get a million fans?

Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.

Orphan

Why does Technoblade love orphans?

'Cause he can relate to their parents!

Baby

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?

I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.

Crush

What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?

She can't say no!

Orphan

Why do orphans like emos?

Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.

Priest

My uncle was a priest.

He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.