Short jokes
So, my dad was drinking, so he was drunk, and I was sad. But can you be my friend, please?
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
My black friend turned off the lights and suddenly disappeared.
Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty-eight-year-olds.
Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."
Tyler: "Why?"
Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Bisexuals aren’t gay.
Bisexuals aren’t straight.
They’re graight! 😂
A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.
Which one hits the ground first?
The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.
Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
Why do Imagine Dragons dream about mythical creatures?
Because they're believers.
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.
So, no head?