Short jokes
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
I used to be a banker...
But then I lost interest.
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
Why do Imagine Dragons dream about mythical creatures?
Because they're believers.
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Bisexuals aren’t gay.
Bisexuals aren’t straight.
They’re graight! 😂
Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty-eight-year-olds.
Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."
Tyler: "Why?"
Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."
Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.
A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"
Way down South: "You awake, mom?"
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Conspiracy Theorists: Technoblade is still alive!
Me: Pigs live between 15 and 20 years!
Fans: 😭😭😭
My friend told me to name a country in Africa.
So I said, "Hungry."
Bitches be like "Kill all men" till a black guy dies.