Short jokes
How do s’mores communicate?
On Insta-graham.
With the sentence "Die in hell," you can buy shoes in Germany.
My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."
Student: "But!"
Teacher: "Is something missing?"
Student: "Your parents!"
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
My boss told me I have a preoccupation with vengeance... We'll see about that!
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
My grandfather died at Auschwitz.
Poor fella fell off the guard tower.
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
Kyle's penis is small.
What’s the difference between women and condoms?
There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.
So, my dad was drinking, so he was drunk, and I was sad. But can you be my friend, please?
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.