Short jokes
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
To get to the opera.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
Latias is red.
Latios is blue.
You should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu.
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
Why was the slave so happy? Because he got his master's degree.
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.