Short jokes
My dog died. I'm so sad.
Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!
Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
To get to the opera.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid.
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
My balls are high, just like the towers, but when something impales them, they begin to sag.
There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.
The warden is stronger than the ender dragon, but WHY IS IT NOT A BOSS?
(Doesn't have boss bar.)
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
"MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE"
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."