Short jokes
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
How do you know your acne is getting out of hand? The blind start reading your face.
Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?
Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.
I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest, so I went as a plane. It didn't fly too well with people.
How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?
By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!
I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.
I hate family reunions.
I see too many of my ex's there.
Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.
A depressing but satisfying victory.
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Brojobs are like air. It's not important until you don't have any.
Bro, Asian girls have the weirdest names. I was fucking one and she kept on saying, "I'm Tu Yung."
Why are so many Americans stupid? Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?
A panhandler.
Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.
Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?
A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.