Short jokes
What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?
My heartbeat.
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
How do you know your acne is getting out of hand? The blind start reading your face.
Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.
What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?
Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.
How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?
By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!
I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest, so I went as a plane. It didn't fly too well with people.
I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.
A depressing but satisfying victory.
Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
I hate family reunions.
I see too many of my ex's there.
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
Brojobs are like air. It's not important until you don't have any.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Bro, Asian girls have the weirdest names. I was fucking one and she kept on saying, "I'm Tu Yung."
What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?
A panhandler.
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.
Why are so many Americans stupid? Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.