Short jokes
Your hairline's so far back even Rosa Parks refused to sit there.
What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?
My heartbeat.
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
How do you know your acne is getting out of hand? The blind start reading your face.
Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.
What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?
Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.
I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.
How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?
By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.
A depressing but satisfying victory.
Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
Brojobs are like air. It's not important until you don't have any.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
I hate family reunions.
I see too many of my ex's there.
Bro, Asian girls have the weirdest names. I was, like, with one, and she kept on saying, "I'm too young."
What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?
A panhandler.
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.
Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.
Why are so many Americans stupid? Because they shoot the ones that go to school.