Short jokes
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?
A hoe hoe hoe.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ruff ruff.
Ruff ruff who?
Let the dogs out.
Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?
He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.
Charlen's hairline is sooooo fat because it was never brushed.
What's the Twin Towers' most favorite band? Al Qaedirection.
Who was the first anesthesiologist? Hitler.
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.
Hey, Alya.
Your hairline is so close to Earth, it's 100 million lightyears away!
Why do cat orphans watch sci-fi movies?
Because they won't understand what the mother ship is.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.
Yo mama joke.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
Why are planes the most dangerous killers?
Because they killed 2,996 people in 10-25 minutes.
Where's your off button?