Short jokes
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.
brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.
What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.
How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.
Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.
Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.
Did you hear about the bisexual from Alabama? He can't decide whether to fuck his brother or his sister.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
Cousins on the streets means lovers in the sheets. 😂👀
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
Even Steph Curry can't hit threes from behind your hairline.
How do you get four prostitutes on one chair?
You turn it upside down.
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai