Short jokes
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Where does a girl with one leg work?
IHOP.
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard.
What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.
Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?
He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.
Cousins on the streets means lovers in the sheets. 😂👀
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross-country.