Short jokes
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
Where does a girl with one leg work?
IHOP.
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
Even Steph Curry can't hit threes from behind your hairline.
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard.
brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.
What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.
How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
Cousins on the streets means lovers in the sheets. 😂👀
Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.
Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.
Did you hear about the bisexual from Alabama? He can't decide whether to fuck his brother or his sister.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."