Short jokes
Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard.
What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.
How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
What is the New York fireman's favorite song?
It's raining men.
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross-country.
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.