brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.
Short Jokes
What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.
How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.
Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.
Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.
Did you hear about the bisexual from Alabama? He can't decide whether to fuck his brother or his sister.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.
What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
How do you get four prostitutes on one chair?
You turn it upside down.
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard.
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross-country.
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."
Even Steph Curry can't hit threes from behind your hairline.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
