Short jokes

They'll never do reverse cowgirl because you never turn your back on family.

I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."

Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?

He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!

if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year

Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍

I hate family reunions.

I see too many of my ex's there.

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.

I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.

What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Homemade cookies.

My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"

Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."

1 like = 1 more child in my blender.

What do you call an emo strip club?

Suicidal Thots.

If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.

I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.

The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.

People claim that Trump has Russian ties.

FAKE NEWS!

All of Trump's ties are made in China.

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!

That's the best I've done so far.

Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?

He kept cutting in line.