Short jokes
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
They'll never do reverse cowgirl because you never turn your back on family.
if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year
Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.
I hate family reunions.
I see too many of my ex's there.
I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Homemade cookies.
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."
What do you call an emo strip club?
Suicidal Thots.
If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
1 like = 1 more child in my blender.
People claim that Trump has Russian ties.
FAKE NEWS!
All of Trump's ties are made in China.
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That's the best I've done so far.
Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?
My heartbeat.