Short jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nacho.
Nacho who?
Nacho Cheese!
Actually doing homework.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His left shoulder.
"I know, you have a lot on your plate right now."
What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
You're so ugly, that's why me and your hairline go far back.
Q. When is it bedtime at Jeffrey Epstein's house? A. When the big hand touches the little hand.
What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?
One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.
What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.
What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?
Faithbook!
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.
Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.
Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?
Goudas.
What do you call a green camel?
My parents left me.