Short jokes
They'll never do reverse cowgirl because you never turn your back on family.
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.
I hate family reunions.
I see too many of my ex's there.
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Homemade cookies.
What do you call an emo strip club?
Suicidal Thots.
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That's the best I've done so far.
1 like = 1 more child in my blender.
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.
If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.
Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?
My heartbeat.
People claim that Trump has Russian ties.
FAKE NEWS!
All of Trump's ties are made in China.