Short jokes
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Yo mama's so ugly even cartoon cat eyes got little.
I need a hug.
*hugs train*
Uma Thurman's optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes.
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
Ya forehead so big Sakura's forehead seemed small.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
Is it a bird, is it a plane?
No, it’s a 9/11 victim.