Short jokes
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me!
My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.