Short jokes
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
What did the meditating egg say?
A) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmlet!
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
Why do orphans use iPhone X's?
Because they can't find home.
Think about you are so fucking high that you are walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
Hey ummm help!
You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!
A guy walks into an AA meeting and asks for a road map.
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.