Short jokes
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.
Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.
What does every pirate hate?
A small chest with no booty.
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
I’ve just discovered that cock fighting is done with chickens.
12 months of training completely wasted.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.
I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
What do the Twin Tower survivors order from Tim Hortons? A plane bagel.
Did you hear about the octopus who went emo? He sliced all 8 of his wrists.
What is Helen Keller's son's name? Hrrrrrrr.
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.