Short jokes
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.
Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.
My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.
What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
What do gay guys and priests have in common?
They are both gay in their own ways.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
I like looking at BDSM Ariana Grande :)
789.
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
Sorry but, no one asked.
Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.
Your hairline is so close to Earth, it's 100 million lightyears away!