Short jokes
"We are Number one."
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
If you don’t know how to braid, hit that follow button, let’s gooo!
What do you call a hippo that lays eggs? A eggoppotimos.
Why were the mushrooms the cool guy at the party? Because he was a fungi.
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"
"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
Replace the v in Venus with a p.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
I don't usually make 9/11 jokes. They always go down in flames.
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?
Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."
Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?
A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.
qwertyuiol.
911 what's your emergency?
"Burning in toaster."
"Toast?"
"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"
"Set fire to my forest!"
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
Germany does a backflip. America: What is happening?
France: Want a baguette?
USSR: Help!