Short jokes
Doctor: You have cancer.
Patient: Will I survive?
Doctor: Probably not.
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
I was going to post a Kobe Briant joke, but the site crashed.
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
Abortions = yeetis of the fetus.
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
What do you call a sad porno?
A tear jerker.
OMG TYSM FOR HELPING ME REACH 30 FOLLOWERS!
🎆
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?
"What's the big dill?"
My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.
Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
Bro, they almost forgot you in the abortion bucket.
Bro, you were born in a local 7-Eleven bathroom.
Me: Kills the boss and takes his loot.
Everyone else in the office: 😱