Short jokes

A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."

What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?

One lasts long and another doesn't.

Clash Royale = CR

Angry Birds = AB

Minecraft = MC

Talking Ben = TB

Clash of Clans = COC 🤨

I'm Jessica, and I really want to talk to Ashton Parkes.

Don't give up on your dreams...

Keep sleeping.

It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.

The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!

You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."

"Police control! Have you been drinking?"

"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"

"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"

Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.

I kicked my leg into my dad's balls in 1999.

If someone wears black, say, "If you see someone wears black, they always be emo."

Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.

Me: And I don't speak idiot language.

Mase looks like a fat gay dude.

England: No towers?

America: No queen?

England: Remember 1812?

America: No tea?

I have to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.

You signed up for football, but you're no good.

You have thin feet that people think you were a duck.

Your mom is so ugly, you look like her. Oh, got 'em!

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.