Short jokes

What do you call a rooster lollipop?

A cock sucker!

What's up?

A rocket from NASA.

OMG SO FUNNYY!

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.

I was raped everyday for years. I can still smile. I hold the record for the widest asshole.

Why did the terrorist not go undercover?

Because he blew it!

If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?

"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."

I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.

All orphans must be gay because they are not home o'fobic.

Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?

Because they can't call their parents.

I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?

Why do nuns not wear bras?

God supports everything.

My ex.

Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."

Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."

Your chin is where I went on ski vacation.

Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

Why did the prostitute lose all her money?

Because she got f*cked.

Paul's favorite car.

A Carrera GT.

I took a plane to go see my hairline.