Short jokes
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.
What do you call a tire that is tired?
A tire, I guess. ❤️
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
What does Godzilla eat for dinner?
The dinner.
If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.
If you had a dollar for every time someone said you're ugly, you'd meet someone who wouldn't say you're ugly.
You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔
Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"
Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.
Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...
An orphan.
I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"