Short jokes
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
Q: What was Hitler's least favorite candy?
A: Jujubes.
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
What might an aborted child want for Christmas?
..... a home that isn't a bin.
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?
The seventh door.
My great uncle died in a concentration camp.
He fell off one of the guard towers.
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
I don't think we should eliminate the LGBT.
However-
Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening 😭😭😭
POV: you
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?
You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.