Short jokes

When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."

Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.

Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.

I want to di... dive! Yeah!

What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?

What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?

Glockamole.

What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?

Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...

I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.

I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple.

Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.

If you hate pedophiles, grow up.

What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

Why can't orphans ride a bike?

'Cause their parents won't follow them.

There is no god. None, not one.

What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?

"What does this button do...?"

What do you call a cupcake with no frosting? A frosting cupcake.

What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?

Legs.

A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.