Short jokes
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!
Couldn't be me being an orphan.
When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,
You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"
Who even needs white jokes?
What do you call a dark, average height Punjabi male?
Josiah.
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
Why can't a missing child play baseball? Cuz he doesn't know where home is.
Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."
At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."
Your hairline pushed back lookin' like you got slapped up by Will Smith.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...