Short jokes

My four conditions:

1. I need coffee.

2. I need vacation.

3. I need food.

4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!

I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.

Git is going to let Bill Cosby out of jail. Oh wait, he watched Little Bill.

Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.

You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!

Hang in there, you all, Literally.

What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.

When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"

Yo, forehead reflects projectiles just like the shield in Strike Force Heroes.

Chinmey?

Call me an edgelord because I'm gonna impale myself on the edge of a spear.

People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.

If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.

I know this place may be cruel, but hang in there!

Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?

Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

Your hairline is like Mount Everest; it points.

Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.

Your hairline is like Justin Bieber’s buzz cut.