Short jokes
Are you the Twin Towers? 'Cause you sure upgraded.
Do trees shit?
Well, how else would we get #2 pencils?
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
Magitat?
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
These Afghanistan people suck at Jenga.
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.