Short jokes
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
What kind of shells do tanks use to cheat?
A-cheat shells.
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.
It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.
Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!
I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.
I just roast all of your chins because I don't know which is uglier.
Your hairline is so ugly it looks worse than your mom's.
That is so bad, just like you.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
What is King Kong for dinner?
Humans.