Short jokes
Red, black, blue. The colors of life.
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.
Speed.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
Long live the quee—Oh wait...
Your hairline is so curvy now, Ice Spice has competition!
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
I like George Floyd's new song. It is really breathtaking.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
I made a 3D game about a depressed, self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.
My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.
My heart says to stop because it hurts.
Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.
Dee.
Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.
Imagine if a disabled person's last name was Runner or Walker! 😬😂
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.