Short jokes
How fast does 173 move?
Breakneck speeds!
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
Walked in to a gun store, everything was half off.
I didn't know back-to-school shopping started.
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
What's the most illegal activity in Africa?
Watering the plants.
Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
Why do white people own so many pets?
'Cause they can't own people anymore.
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
Because unlike the Twin Towers it can dodge.
You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.