Short jokes

Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"

Me: "Nun."

A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."

I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.

I found a lot of matches.

Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.

What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?

Which animal is the least trustworthy?

What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?

Their INCESTors!

What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."

(I'm a trans man myself lol)

Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.

"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."

"If you got a question, just shoot!"

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

Your mum is so fat that she took a spoon to the supercool.

What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.

I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.

But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"

How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?

Batter.

What did the tree say to the depressed kid?

"Stop hanging around."

Hi sisisissisisisisisis.

So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?

Catching it with a pitchfork.

What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?

There's no Jack!