Short jokes
What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?
Because it's in bread.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!
What do KFC and a brothel have in common?
They’re both full of greasy chicks.
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Because it said, "Focus."
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?
Your camera.
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
What’s the most emo country in the world?
Qatar.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
Why did the emo kid get mad?
I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.