Short jokes
What is worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
Bro used the quadratic formula to calculate the velocity of your -234 going down hairline.
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
Your hairline goes as far back as the cavemen. Your forehead is also as deep as the cave.
What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
Q: What is Germany's favorite board game?
A: Nahtzee (Yahtzee).
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
(DOORS)
What door is the first door that opens for you?
The elevator to go to the game.
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.
What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."