Short jokes
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.
I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.
I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."
Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!
Who's never the last man standing?
Stephen Hawking.
My friend is gay lol. I'm a spagetie fucc, lemme smash, Becky!
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Then: You want free candy?
Now: You want free Wi-Fi?
Jesus walks into a motel, throws 3 nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for a night?"
One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
What did Sally get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?
Because it was her dad.
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
Why don't you shower with a Pokemon? He might Pikachú.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.