Short jokes
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
You've got a body inside you. It's called your bones.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
Hi boyyyy!
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
Why did everyone quit the high school volleyball team? To join Coach Kyle's team, of course!
Eat my butt.
Society
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
Why is 8 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 ate 9.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
You know your doctor is gay when he asks you to touch your toes, and then you feel a rub on your back and a tickle on your anus.
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.