Short jokes
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
Your mama is so old that she forgot her donkey on Noah's Ark.
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?
Goudas.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
Hello there, have a good day!
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasuuubi!"
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.
What did John say after someone shot his leg?
Oof!