Short jokes
What do you call a fish with two knees?
Justin Masotti
What part of the train goes "toot toot"?
The caboose.
What's the best thing about f***ing twenty-six year olds?
There's twenty of them.
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
Why do y’all call a pickup truck?
'Cause ya got a flat tire.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.
I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
How do you make a baby cry?
You punch it in the face.
Why can’t blind people sing [if] that can’t hear because they can see the lyrics?
What is the useless skin around the vagina called?
The woman.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What do you call a fat chink?
Saturn.