Short jokes
Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
Jacob has a small penis.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Geology rocks!
pussi
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
Lol.
My grandfather had the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"