Short jokes
How do kill a redneck?
Wait until he is fucking his sister and take the brakes off his house.
My nan's gayyyyyy.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
Your mom is so fat, she fell down the Grand Canyon and got stuck!
Why were you born?
Because I asked out your mom on accident.
What is more time-consuming than children?
Waiting for your wife to go into labor!
What’s Steven Hawking's fav[orite] food?
WiFi chips or his shoulder?
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He didn't pay his electricity bills.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of WiFi.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you? No charge!"
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
Come on guys, this is nasty, he was my uncle, ffs :(
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
Tyler M is not to be sitting in the chair he is right now.
The deaf man said to the waiter:
"Mmmm."
The waiter said, "No English."
Then the deaf man signed, "F U."
There are more than two genders.
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.