Short jokes
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
My son.
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
Yo mama so fat, she got more rolls than the sand dunes.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
4
Life is like giving head... it always sucks.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
What objects have the most gravitational force?
A Lambo and a gold digger.
I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
What can a mouse do?
He clicks.
What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
What is pedophiles' favorite prey: Vegetables?
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.