Short jokes
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
Why do babies cry? Cuz they can't suck very well.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
I don't like condoms, but I like gay pregnant X.
How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Want to hear a joke?
Ohio State football.
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
What is the same with a duck and a bicycle? The handlebars--oh, except for the duck.
Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.