Short jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
Condoms are for pussies.
Cleveland Browns
The pilot goes "We're going down!"
The other pilot yells "Down like your syndrome?"
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
What pool never runs dry?
The one on the Titanic.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
He asked for a shot of beer?
He got shot and killed.
I went to a seafood shop.
I pulled a muscle.
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.
I have 25 friends in the alphabet.
But I don't know why.