Short jokes
I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.
How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?
In fact, they don't age at all.
Why was the Pokemon under your bed? So it can Pikachu.
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.
It was a shih tzu.
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
Let me tell you a pun. Never mind, it's tearable.
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
What do you call a fish with two knees?
Justin Masotti
What part of the train goes "toot toot"?
The caboose.
What's the best thing about f***ing twenty-six year olds?
There's twenty of them.
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.