Short jokes
You wanna hear a joke? You.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
What is a cow's favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs!
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
You've got a body inside you. It's called your bones.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
Hi boyyyy!
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
Why did everyone quit the high school volleyball team? To join Coach Kyle's team, of course!