Short jokes
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
Question: Why can't you trust a tree?
Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.
What do you call a mammal that has no hair?
Cancer.
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.
What do you call a gay friend?
Miguel Del Rosario Domingo.
My friend had no school because of heavy snow.
Guess you could say it was a snow school day!
"Is Mrs. Wall here?"
"No."
"Is Mr. Wall here?"
"No."
"Then what is holding up the walls?"
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
I wanna see Stephen Hawking on nitrous.
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"