Short jokes
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
Why did C.S.C fail the Trig test? Cosecant remember his own name! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
As a hobby, I started taking walks around the old clock tower.
It's a great way to pass the time.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.