Short jokes
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
Cameron and Pav.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
How do you name a Chinese person?
You drop a metal spoon on a tile floor.
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
This person has Down syndrome.
Ya nan!
What is the difference between Dray Dray and an overrated footballer called Pogba?
I guess Canada's national igloo is melting because of global warming.
Why do hospitals have fans?
To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
French fries don't come from France; they come from Greece.