How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
Short Jokes
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
This is fucking cringe smd fuckers.
Jesus Christ said my faith can move mountains, so Mohammed said my faith can move skyscrapers.
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
Video game company names always make me make puns I didn't intend to.
Yourself.
Them: "You're ugly."
Me: "No, as ugly as your extra chromosome."
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
