Short jokes
Eat my butt.
Society
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
Why is 8 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 ate 9.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
You know your doctor is gay when he asks you to touch your toes, and then you feel a rub on your back and a tickle on your anus.
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
What did the pot say to the kettle?
"To lick the s*** spoon."
"I need help, George Sink," said Jimmy.
"What is it?" said George Sink.
"Can you wash my dishes?" said Jimmy.
JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.
Mosely in a white van.
What's the difference between you and Hitler?
Hitler knew when to kill himself.
Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
You know Sally? She's dead now.