Short jokes
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.
How were tire swings made?
A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
What do you do with a frozen vegetable?
You wait for it to thaw.
"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer, but then I realized I do that myself."
Why did the boy shoot the clock?
What is a rabbit's favorite type of jewelry?
Carats.
So I was doing a puzzle, and I was getting triggered with it. My friend said, "It's puzzling why you're so triggered."
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
What's red, green, and smells like shit?
... Red and green shit.
I'm straighter than a rainbow.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
What did a gay Indian use as weapons of war?
A rain-bow.