Short jokes
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
U were accidental.
I don't have a joke about Christianity.
I don't want to get crucified.
Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
"I wasn't that drunk yesterday."
"Oh boy, you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
Penis.
What happened when the dog played golf?
He hit the ball into the ruff.
How do you saw an apple with no mouth?
A P P L E
A bully chokes me. I simply say, "Joke's on you, I like being choked!"
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
I threw a Asian down some stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
What do you call an octopus dad?
An octodad.
Do you want to go to the pool?
Yes? Well, water you waiting for?
What's the difference between a zit and a Catholic priest?
A zit will wait 'til 12 before it cums on your face.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.