Sponge jokes

I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.

Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?

They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"

What goes inside and comes out wet?

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

Spongulbub

Spingebinge

Sponk

Spunkulbub

Bobspunge

Spong

What’s bin Laden got in common with SpongeBob?

Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, and they’re filled with holes.

What does a sponge do?

It talks to Patrick.

What's the difference between me and Spongebob?

Spongebob can actually get ripped.

Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.

They both routinely place meat in small buns.

What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?

Are you ready, kids?🤣

Crappy joke warning: How does Spongebob have fun? He smokes seaweed.

A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?

They're both yellow and can't drive.