Short jokes
Kids?
What’s green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.
If Stephen Hawking was an Xbox... he just red ringed and rose up to GameStop.
Why do Asians don’t wear contacts? Cause they can’t fitt.
Trump.
Yo mama's so stupid, she had a staring contest with a mirror.
I’ve two dogs and two cats, and they are all Democrats. They want a handout everyday.
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH.
Why did the Duck go to rehab?
Because he was a Quackhead.
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
— Wanna hear a joke about ghosts?
— No.
— That's the spirit!
What’s your favorite type of wood? Mine is Bollywood.
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
Hey, look, it's Bai! (insert the picture of a Bai drink)
What did the explorer say when he got tired?
I'm gonna take a map.